I’ve always thought of my heart as a piece of crystal hidden away in a wooden box this is why I seem so thought while am weak inside but as I grew older I realized that the wooden box is merely a glass case so vulnerable and Visible my core is. So I ignite a fire of anger and mistrust around in an attempt to hide it away of people’s eyes. And I think in part I succeeded at least for people far enough but if anyone looked close enough they’ll see it clearly that’s why I shy away from the physical touch of people especially close ones, cause I fear that if I let them touch me they will know how weak I really am and how longing I for their Touch.
But sometimes it gets so lonely inside the glass case, it’s hard to see people but not be with them to be totally isolated behind the fire and glass. To seem to have a lot of people around me and be totally alone
But it gets easier because as time goes by I learn to care less about people and only focus on me, the only problem with that thought, are the people who are already in too deep.
People whom I already am not locked with feelings about them, feelings I can no longer process nor can discard.
This is why still at times I feel alone.
I want to be free, free from feeling love, guilt and more importantly loneliness, if I just can repress all my feelings like I do with my feelings toward other people, I’d be happy.
Cause only after I get raid of ALL my feelings would I be stronger and Happy and most defiantly truly FREE.
Monday 21 July 2008-07-28
1:41 AM
