ALONE!!!!???!?!?!?!

Have you ever been abandoned in the middle of a deserted and scary road dumped by the only person you trust, the only person “you thought ”you can count on the person that’s been always your safe haven and suddenly that heaven turns in to hell and that trust turn in to a sea of doubt and mistrust suddenly you are left stranded lonely and scared, shivering and crying for help you are certain you’ll never get. To feel like your brain is about to explode and your heart is burst into a million of little pieces that you can no longer see because they are so tiny and far apart?
Have you ever understood why people commit suicide have you ever understood how sweet would it be, to taste the eternal kiss, the gift of total darkness and the bliss of the everlasting sleep,
Have you ever saw the whole world so dark, so large. You know how does it feels to be so tiny in a large dark world? to feel that you just want to sleep away your life?
I did , I do, if you’ve never, then welcome to my world

I am not Cold but I won't Fall

I don’t believe in love from first sight, I don’t believe that love is the higher , stronger emotion ever! Unless we are talking about parent and child love.
Love (as an emotion between 2 peers in a romantic way) isn’t real, at least not the way people think it is loved don’t climb mountains, it don’t change people and it defiantly don’t conquer all.
Love is an emotion we control with our heads before anything, people who say love is blind are liars cause love is NOT blind they are, more specifically they CHOOSE to be.

I’ve never had a crush, a flirt, love. All those years in my life I’ve never loved someone (in a romantic way)
I might be cold but I don’t think so I adore my family and I’d do nearly anything for them. But I have a head over my shoulders that think and calculate every time I meet someone new I have 2 mental lists (and he’d fall into one of them) , people I might love people, I would never love. The people I might love list is a list of people I’d be willing to give a chance if they ever approach me.
Again I don’t think am cold, I just have a head I choose to use like people choose not to.
The person you choose to spend your life with is the person that determine how you are gonna spend the rest of your life (even if you left him/her afterwards).
I don’t think am better than anyone I think anyone can simply choose not to let him/herself fall in love. Simply by using what God gave all of us “Our heads” so we no longer Fall in love but we simply jump in to love and before we jump we must look very well.

It might still blow up in our faces but at least it won’t be such a mess.
More love stories fail than those that work because people who don’t use their brains and can usually invest long years in a relationship that‘s so lousy that anyone can see it, they do it in the name of love , Just delaying the inevitable but never deleting it.
This is why I don’t believe in love form first sight or that love is blind or any other cliché, but I know for a fact that at the moment I find the right person to love, I’ll open the dam gates and get him emerged in feelings of love until then I’ll say
I’ve never fell in love, never had a crush, I am not cold but I refuse to let myself fall in love