Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Way I view myself

every one of us has a self image, not only a physical one but also about the way we are. some people think of themselves as relaxed, angry or whatever. but usually that's not the people's same perspective.
I've been shocked lately with the fact that People perceive me so differently from the way i perceive myself, and I think they are mistaken I am not what they think , I am not too serious, unemotional , snob, uptight, cold and cruel person. I am light-hearted, shy, nice, hot-tempered person who has a sense of humor.
sometimes I realize why people perceive me in a certain way. like how they mistake the fact that I am shy with the fact that I am a snob.
but other times it comes totally unpredicted and it bothers me. someone once said that it feels good to be not understood to feel like the lonely lost soul in the world. but I don't like how that feels. i have to admit that I am lonely, sad and misunderstood. I once was told that I would always feel that alone because i like to drive people away.DO I ? Maybe I do? or Maybe I simply want them to try a little harder. I want to feel appreciated, I like to feel people I care about intruding into my life. but maybe I am making too hard , maybe I am asking too much from people.
I am drifting away from the original point of the post I seem to be doing that a lot.
but I still have things unsaid that's why I won't end it here, I'll try to get back on track.
Sometimes I think the difference in the way i view myself and the way people view my is so huge because I am not Honest with either.
99% of what I say is BS that i don't mean. but 99% of people around me don't seem to know that simple fact and the 1% that does don't know what to think anymore.
I think I've been lying to myself for a long time 2. That is the main reason of this blog it's an attempt to be honest , with my self and with people around me. that why I am staying anonymous , as much as i can. that's why i am keeping minimal personal stories, but i am human so sometimes I would give in to the pleasure of reminiscing.
on a final note I bet every psychotic, crazed SOB had uttered the words I am just a lonely lost soul in this world, I am just misunderstood.


P.s I didn't draw this I ripped it off from www.dva.gov.au/health/menshealth/04_bloke.htm
Thanx to Google search

7 comments:

insomniac said...

don't we all have certain images of ourselves!

relax, most private people are mistaken for snobs who push people away; it's mostly because this is a society that does not value or appreciate privacy that much!

and guess what, even if you shout out loud what you really think or what you really want, ppl will always assume things that are simply untrue.... so just be yourself and take alll the time you need to know the real you :)

The.I.inside said...

that's always a sound advice, god knows how many times I gave it. but can't seem to do so, they problem might be is that i have No idea who my real self is, or I just might be trying too hard.
I definitely need to relax.

Umslopagas said...

Join the club, I believe you'll find an empty bench at the end of the hall.

Anyway, on a more serious note, some people send out the wrong sort of message unknowingly.

For example, at work, I'm known to be an arrogant cold bastard, which - I believe - is not true.

Let me tell you something funny, you've been following my blog for almost 2 months now, for the first month, I though you were a guy:D

Brownie said...

sometimes we build a shelter for ourselves, it is more like a protection but ppl would not leave us alone , they wanna interfere to know who u r really and when they can not, they gv their own explanation which is arrogance.

if it really bothers u what they think about u then analyze ur actions and explain ur reasons, it will take time but it worth it.

The.I.inside said...

Umslopagas
They think you are a cold arrogant bustard at work! I have to agree with you , you are completely not that.
You were right about the wrong signal, I seem to send all the wrong ones and confuse people more with the BS I say.
You thought I was a guy? I was told that my writing states very clearly I am a girl and that I could never impersonate a guy something about being too emotional , whiney and nice .

The.I.inside said...

Brownie
So what do we do, when the people we are inviting in don't want as much as push the already ajar door.
I've been called snob for the first time in my life when I was around 10, from a person I considered a friend, since then I've been called emotionless, selfish , snob ...... the list goes on forever, surprisingly some where told to me by people I consider the closest things to friends and nearly all of them weren’t told in anger.
So I NEVER Explain myself to anyone. My rule is I don't care what you think , if I don't care about you , if I do then you should've known better.

Brownie said...

if u care for someone so let him/her understand u more, even if u have to explain urself all the time, there is a time he/she will get u so well and u would not need to explain anymore, change ur behaviors if that it would help..it is not wrong but don't tell urself that is what i am and i don't care for what other think because u really care.

p.s Umslopagas thought i am a guy too ;)