Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Apology


Yesterday I let someone down, someone I not only care about but also respect tremendously. That person came to me, confided in me bare the inside of her soul to me. What did I do? I undermined, mocked and disregarded her feelings. Every mean word I said I knew I’d regret later, I could see I was hurting her but that didn’t make me stop, I kept going until she begged me to stop, she didn’t beg me just once but twice even then I didn’t want to stop, I could see her in dignity trying not to let her tears drop , then I acted as if I have every right to be angry at her reaction. What kind of a person would do that to a loved one? I know, a very selfish person.
I must apologize not to ease the guilt (the guilt is the less I could handle after what I’ve done) but because that person doesn’t deserve this from me. It would be so easy to print this out and give it to her to read, but that would be the coward’s way out. She deserve a full apology a face to face one, one that’s not filled with excuses why I was such a bi@tch, but filled with regret and I need to own the blame and stop throwing it on everyone else. Would I change? I don’t know but I know that’s it’s about damn time I stop talking about changing and start working on it for a change.

9 comments:

Brownie said...

i am sorry to tell u this but the damage is done, may be she forgive u but i don't think she will forget

Umslopagas said...

Only time mends such hurts, but, you never know.

Mohaly said...

You cant stop at what happened coz it already happened. You need to realize what went wrong, try your best to fix as much as you can, and make sure that you will not repeat it. This is what you should do to gain your and others appreciation instead of blame and sorrow.

insomniac said...

hey...

before you go talk to her, ask yourself why you behaved that way??

- were you grumpy or in a foul mood when she talked to you, in that case it was a selfish thing i agree with you... in that case an apology wouldn't just do, u will need to rethink of all the things she told you and come up with good advice which she probably came to you for...

- did you think she needed to hear a painful truth, were you giving her your dose of tough love? in that case, you're not selfish, you just didn't know how to do it without hurting her... just tell her you know you should have been nicer, and she will forgive you given time....

as unforgiving as all of us might think we are, we actually respond to honesty and genuine remorse when showed by a loved one... so just be sensitive and like the guys said up there, give it time and know exactly what you've done and why you've done it so you won't do it again....

The.I.inside said...

Brownie
She did forgive me, but I am counting on time to make her forget

The.I.inside said...

Umslopagas

Yeah I know and I am counting on time.

The.I.inside said...

Mohaly

Making sure I won't repeat it is what worries me the most because no matter how regretful I really am time seems to make me forget & act like a bi@tch over again.

The.I.inside said...

insomniac

I know why I acted this way and as I said earlier it was the selfish reason, as ashamed as I am From my
behavior, but as I stated in the post I must own up to the blame, I was in bad mood and I wasn't ready to talk serious emotions now the spot light was on me and I need it to stay because I didn't feel like sharing it. there's no excuse for what I've done I have apologized and she said she accepted my apology, and I believe her when she say she does. but I need to keep in mind what I've done and to keep trying to make up in more ways than one. and like Mohaly said I have to make sure I won't repeat that behavior.

Brownie said...

u have been tagged